Does it feel to anyone else that the sky has turned to iron?
We’ve been struggling financially, as many people have. It has become increasingly clear that I need to get an outside job. I have a CDL and I started looking for a driving job towards the end of last June. I had no idea that it might take this long. It’s been almost 3 months without landing anything. I only have one definite prospect at this point. And that company wants to wait until after the Fall Feasts to bring me on because of the days I need off for the High Shabbats.
Real financial worries are hard enough. But to make it doubly hard, I have had no real sense of Yah’s hand in the whole thing except for maybe the uncanny string of things that have not worked out. This perceived silence can really threaten to take a person’s heart out. It’s easy to not feel blessed. It’s easy to not feel heard, or even seen.
Papa, are you there? Papa, please don’t let us feel too distant from you. Don’t let our hearts move too far away from you. Don’t leave us alone for so long that we might think that you’ve abandoned us.
Forgive us our times of doubt. We are humans, with real needs. But we have promised ourselves to you. And we know that you know that we have nowhere else to go. You are our only Elohim. In the end, we will keep the promises we made when we came into covenant with you. But please, let us feel your favor toward us. Let us see the blessings. Restore our fortunes. Restore our joy. May we have some real movement in our life to praise you for.
Amein